Well, I first ran for office at age three.
It put a lot of stress on Ma and me,
But I still won, and politics I still play.
Now I don't mind how she raised her kid,
But the strangest thing that she ever did
Was, before I knew it, she just named me "Gray."
I guess she thought it was an honored tag,
But a whole lot folks called me a fag.
Seems I had to fight most every day.
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red.
Some guy would laugh and I'd bust his head.
I'll tell ya, life ain't easy for a boy named Gray.
Well, I grew up quick and I grew up left.
Didn't want the people to be bereft.
Roamed across the State to get some votes.
But I made me a vow to the moon and stars,
That I'd stay to the left, and kind of far.
And guys make fun of my name, I'd grab their throat.
Well, I was Governor in my second term,
And some folks angry that it was perm,
And whined about it, didn't stand real tall.
At a big fat rally on TV, they said they really hated me,
And went through the process to set up my recall.
Well, I knew they'd pick some empty suit
To run against me, those cakes of fruit.
And I knew those big black shades over each eye.
He was big and built and tall and dumb.
I knew that I could beat that bum.
But he said, "Mein name's Ah-nold! Mein chance is gold!
Now you are goink to die!"
Yeah, that's what he told me...
And he hit me hard, right below the belt,
And he turned to brag to the guy from "Die Welt"
And said, "Ja, Gray Davis is just a qveer!"
But I said, "He's gonna have to raise some taxM
and his education thinking's really lax.
This guy's just ain't gonna know what he's doing here."
I tell ya, I've fought tougher men,
And I've beat 'em once and beat 'em again.
And Arnold's as deep as a slice of bathroom tile.
And those Repub guys now face the cost
Of another election they have lost
And Arnold looked at me that night with a smile...
And he said, "Ja, politics is rough,
And that Gray Davis man, he's really tough
And I guess I vas only stringing myself along.
I thought that my name alone vould fly
And my reputation vould make him die.
I guess I found out vhich man's really strong.
Now, Gray, he fought von hell of a fight.
And I know he beat me, and he's got the right
To laugh at me and the vay mein run vent splat.
I should thank mein vife before I fly,
For I couldn't see right in front of mein eye
It's better to be a big old Democrat."
Well, what could I do? What could I do?
I got all choked up, and I stuck out my hand.
I called him my pal, and he called me his friend.
With a different point of view I came away.
And I think about it, now and then
Though less since I saw John Kerry win.
And if I ever have a son, I think I'm a-gonna name him...
Well, maybe Arnold, but definitely not Gray!
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