I Cannot Win Debates, I Can't

I Cannot Win Debates, I Can't
(Sung to the tune of "I'm Henry The 8th, I Am" by Herman's Hermits)

As sung by Dubya, desperately outmatched in his first presidential debate with John Kerry on 09/30/04:

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)
In debates, I stammer, cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(Spoken:) Second verse... I get to curse!

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)
In debates, I stammer, cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(instrumental break)

"...Shrill. Defensive. Muddled. Angry, very angry. Repetitive. Uninformed.
Outmatched. Unprepared. Hesitant. Twenty four minutes into the debate,
Bush lost his temper, and spent the remaining hour and six minutes
looking for all the world as though he were sucking on a particularly
bitter lemon."

-William Rivers Pitt - "It Was A Rout" at Truthout.org

I cannot win debates; I can't.
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't.
I got buried by John Kerry 'bout war
I can't parry his points, or keep score.

I must debate, though I cannot win (cannot win)
And viewers think my war is just a scam (big scam)
In debates, I stammer, cannot win...
Cannot win debates; I can't.

(Spoken:_ Rove! Please! One more try!

Cannot win (cannot win)...
Cannot win (cannot win)...
Cannot win debates; I can't, I can't
Cannot win debates, I can't.

(instrumental riff)

Nah!

Alternate versions of this song parody:
I'm Dubya The Ape, I Am
I'm Henry The Ace, I Am
I'm Henry The Hyde, I Am

More George W. Bush song parodies from the Dubya Song Book!

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